Kate Bowler on the loneliness epidemic
My aunt Marcy really enjoys Everything Happens with Kate Bowler, a podcast that explores what people learn during dark times. She shared a recent episode where Kate and guest Vivek Murthy discuss the “loneliness epidemic.” The stats on loneliness and its consequences are pretty scary, but it was Kate’s closing remarks that really brought the issue into focus for me:
A friend of mine had a baby last month. She and her husband were in a new city, in a new job, and they had their little baby, and then… nothing. I mean, not, like, nothing. People sent them baby blankets through Amazon and texted recipes for baby mush, but no one actually came to their door with a tuna fish casserole with noodles and said, “Here! I made it.” No one threw her a baby shower because she didn’t know enough people yet. She reminded herself that she had tons of friends, but they just weren’t there, which was fine—usually.
Every time I watch a cell phone commercial, I’m reminded that there is an entire industry devoted to selling us the experience of connection (“Can you hear me now?”). But the truth is, not all connections sustain us equally. We can have a million people in our contacts list and no one to bring us a casserole when we actually need it. I’m starting to realize that I need to look more closely at the kinds of connections that I’m making: Do they bring life? Do they bring meaning? Do they bring food? I loved what Vivek said when he talked about the cure to loneliness: we can be the medicine that each other needs. We can be the solution other people crave. We are all doctors and we are all healers. The question is, do we have the courage to speak up and stand up for others, to reach out to them when we feel they may be in need? That’s what I needed to hear right now. Loneliness may be the disease, but we are all medicine.
This podcast was a timely forward from Marcy: I’m taking time off from work to better understand loneliness, isolation, and social connection. The irony is that it’s a somewhat lonely endeavor. If you have any favorite resources on the topic (or just want to say hello), please reach out!
[ November 2019 ]